Silver

I tried crossing the river and I drowned
I’ve kissed the roses you gave me in my sleep
I’ve kissed death too many times for you to seek
My mind is too awake to stop spinning
My thoughts cannot untangle themselves the way I want them too
I don’t care what you say
Casual words leave me reeling like rejection
And guys in bars that hold your hand then don’t reply
Stopped to hear ‘She’s cute and you’re lucky’
I hoped you would think you were lucky too
Maybe this is the way you are
Charm women to have them call
Then don’t respond at all
Do I even want to know?
I’ve got this feeling I can’t shift
And I just need to know
I’ve loved poetry too much to become owned by it
So I never knew that you could become it instead

How I made sure all 12 of my kids could pay for college themselves

Intricacies

I cannot fathom a world without the way words stretch and fill the cavities of my heart.
I’m in love with adjectives and verbs
And the meanings of words that can change by a single letter
I find it chaotic when the letters aren’t in order
I want to learn each language, find each beauty it holds, and kiss it
I love words like burst, claim and daughter
I love the lift of the word surrender
I like how we can launch into tales
Or spurt questions
Emphasise points
Scream
Whisper
And cry
Yet I am afraid of words
Words like no, gone, can’t
Words that affirm fears and realise truths
All I can do is manipulate the words
But that doesn’t stop them hurting

I did not know

My skin is glowing in the cloudy blue of your irises
You are the only one to burn out my black night, 
The only dark I want to let in 
I know you love me like the sun loves tomorrow 
Like the way the moon sleeps for the sun
Together, we make the sky
Hemispheres colliding, holding close, almost touching
My stars may light up your night
But waking to your sun
Is the only thing I look forward to
You are good for me, balancing, settling
The way the ocean licks against a lone ship 
You are my lucky rabbits foot, though I am not superstitious
You are the perfect for which I did not know I was searching, 
And you are the only one I could write love poetry for. 

Littlest Sister

She walked up to me and said
Hey,
Smile,
And in that moment
I froze.
She snapped the camera,
I picked up my mug,
told her to send it to me.
Eleven years old
And purportedly camera shy
The seed is sown far too young.
Eleven years old
And already crippled
With the belief in magazines
And beautiful women that she does not realise are photoshopped
It is hard to believe it begins that way
That slowly we begin to become more self aware
That it can start so young
Is it learned?
Did I have a hand in this?
Did I complain about my thighs too much?
Did she see me frowning at my full length mirror?
Is my excessive use of make up that obvious?
A year ago she did not think I wore any
Told me I was pretty
And was shocked when I told her I constantly wore it
Now she begs me to paint her skin
Favours fairy-floss-pink lipgloss over reading her books
Some times, I hope she is like me-
I hope she devours words as I do,
And has ambitions and dreams
Yet sometimes, I feel the need to warn her
Do not look in the mirror
It is corrupting
Beauty is who you are
Not what the mirror lies
Or what the scales breathe
Or what you wanted for lunch
Your habits do not make you.
Such an innocence that you carry,
So fragile
Please, never break it.
Learn this from me-
Never break it.

Chameleon

I hate the fact that I adapt
and how I feel like no one cares
I can’t keep any friends
Sometimes I feel their stares
In my bedroom, all alone
At ten o’clock on a saturday
Wondering why you never replied
Or why I even care
It’s not that I’m lonely
I have a close few that care
It’s tough to decipher
Who’s really going to be there
Most like to see you fall
Laugh at your cut from grace
It’s hard to be like this
A breeze will blow me over
Something intrigues me
Then I fall with it
Only to be the end
So many different skins
Which one shall I pick today
It doesn’t really matter I suppose
None would make them stay

Remnants

I work in a little second hand bookstore by the beach, and we get a good amount of donations into our shop. People are always leaving their bookmarks. I think it’s strange some of the things people leave behind- from shopping lists to memories, invitations and personalized items. I love finding them tucked into the well worn pages of the books, and wondering about the person who left it behind- who they were, what they did- I love finding these little gems.

Holy Inferno

Last night’s dream was cathartic
I was floating above the city
Soaring atop the homes of those I love
The city seemed desolate, abandoned
It was torn-up, bleeding from the heart
Yet I was happy
I had never been so happy
It was strange
A kind of release, to see something so wildly upsetting
I floated over to the church
Alight with fire
And blew
Like a dragon
A stream of water so cold it almost froze to my lips
The church, now simmering, was steaming up to the heavens
The scent of charcoaled remains enveloped me, still scorching
I swam through the air to get away
Suddenly
I was inside the church
And I am burning alongside the wooden pews and hymn books
I try to extinguish myself
Only to find my power removed
I try screaming
But find a large pair of black-leather gloves at my throat
The lights flicker on and off
And I am in a training centre
This had all been a drill
My teacher congratulates me on finding my skill so early
Then hustles me off to the main hall
Before I leave, however
I see him morph into a green furry creature
And consume my adversary
I scream

Then I wake.

How to talk to your daughter about her body

Things God does not do (Attn: Richard Mourdock and a lot of other people)

SO TRUE

Feet in, Arms out

Attention people with microphones/bully pulpits and all other people of earth:

God does not give people cancer/seizures/heart attacks/HIV, STD’s, any other diseases. God does not cause car accidents. God does not assign people to murder others. God did not make that hurricane/earthquake/other natural disaster happen because he was mad at the people living there. God did not do something so that he could have another angel in heaven. GOD DOES NOT CAUSE PEOPLE TO RAPE OTHERS SO THAT BABIES CAN BE MADE.

[2018 edit: GOD DOES NOT CAUSE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS BECAUSE WE DON’T ALLOW PRAYER IN SCHOOLS. IN FACT, ANYONE CAN PRAY IN SCHOOL AND LOTS OF PEOPLE WERE PROBABLY PRAYING DURING EACH AND EVERY SCHOOL SHOOTING. Mass shootings happen because we have a gun and violence fetish, because of toxic masculinity, because we isolate and ignore people, and bunch of other reasons that all boil down to SIN]

God…

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